Thursday, August 12, 2004

The Assclown Speaks

"Demi is an improvement over Brittany? Mark Loretta is a surprise? Huge bonus points, though, for asking "am I on the weed again?" (I just realized that your sad little site gives me the opportunity I've lacked to gratuitously heckle E, whose boots I am otherwise happy to lick.)

In other news, maybe you'd like to comment on the comparative chances of the Sux & the Angels winning first place?"

-Assclown

















Does the term "lead pipe cinch" mean anything to you, Assclown? Don't get me wrong, Demi is a brutal actress, Brittany's got way more chops. But where Demi has gone to the mat to try to entertain us, Brittany has steadily frittered away her talent over the past couple of years.

I went to see "8 Mile" on opening night near my then-girlfriend's place in Harlem, packed house, young crowd, tons of energy. Remember the scene where Brittany goes to see Em at work to make her play? And she tries to give him the come-hither googly eyes? The guy sitting behind me shouted out, "Damn! Bitch got down syndrome!" No one has ever said that about Demi.

Yes, Mark Loretta is a surprise. If you could've foreseen this progression beginning when a guy was 31, you, Gilligan, are in the wrong business*.

OBP SLG AVG
.350 .359 .267

.372 .441 .314

.384 .501 .336


Bonus points for "am I on the weed again?" My only problem is the guy lives in Humboldt, to be "on the weed again" suggests that he got off the weed. Why on earth would a man in Humboldt... It just doesn't make sense.

Finally, Assclown tries to bait me into discussing the relative chances of the mighty Boston nine or the fallen Angels finishing first. Seeing as the Berlin Wall was standing the last time the Halos won their division , the question is moot.

What's of far greater relevance is that after El Diva's masterpiece today the Sox are again atop the wild card heap. Petey spun nine innings of shut out ball, surrendering only six hits and no walks. Did I mention the ten K's?


*This is by no means to suggest you're in the right business. Far from it, I've seen you "work."

1 Comments:

Blogger Seitz said...

I blame Neel's column for jinxing him.

-Seitz

August 12, 2004 at 6:24 PM  

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