Taking the Bait
Matt asks if I have any "(p)redictions for this weekend?"
Who am I to resist the opportunity to make an ass of myself?
Colorado @ Houston
Friday
Joe Kennedy - Kennedy's pitched well down the stretch. Despite giving up 5 runs in 7 to SF on 9/2, his ERA over his last 7 starts is only 2.51, 3.62 for the year. How he's managed to keep the ERA that low with a WHIP of 1.42 is a mystery, but if it works for Luke Ford, why not Joe Kennedy?
Pete Munro - Interestingly, Houston starter Pete Munro also has a WHIP of 1.42, which he has spun into a beefy 5.20 ERA. Looking at his game log, one is reminded of former Red Sox Dave Stapleton. Stapes came up as a rookie in 1980 and posted some fine numbers, finishing second to Super Joe Charboneau in the rookie of the year balloting. After batting .321 in his inaugural campaign, Stapleton went on to distinguish himself by becoming the only player in MLB history to have his average go down for six years in a row. What the hell am I talking about? Munro recently enjoyed a run of 8 starts in a row in which his ERA went up.
I guess my point is that both these guys kinda stink, but Kennedy's been far luckier. And as I noted yesterday, the Rockies simply cannot hit on the road.
Saturday
Shawn Estes - My friend Joe, who moved here from SF last year, is a world-class music nerd, a baseball fan and a homosexual. He spent more than a little time stalking Estes when he was with the Gi'nts and had him on his fantasy team. I'm afraid the answer is yes: it was a fantasy team in both senses. It was comprised of players he suspected/desperately hoped were gay.
Roy Oswalt - Oswalt will deservedly finish in the top 5 in the Cy Young balloting.
Sunday
Jamey "See-Saw" Wright - His last start, 6 shut out innings against LA, broke a nine-game cycle of success and failure as his runs allowed yo-yo'd: 2 6 2 6 1 4 2 6 1. I'm guessing the kid's gonna return to form.
Carlos Hernandez - All I have to say about Carlos is that Clemens has already said that if this game is do-or-die, he's available to pitch it.
I really see no reason, other than the law of averages, why Houston won't sweep this series. I mean, shit, if they can sweep St Louis, why not Colorado? Having said all that, I remember now that they control their own destiny, so I guess I'd make them the favorites for the wild card.
Atlanta @ Chicago
Before I look at the remaining games let's talk about today's self-immolation. Mark Prior, the only man alive whose legs make my heart flutter, threw 16 K's over 9 innings of 3-hit, 1-run ball... and lost. It may sound dispassionate for me to suggest that this is a team embracing its heritage, but Jeebus... I would also like to give a shout to Adam "Three True Outcomes" Dunn, who fearlessly broke Bobby Bonds' 34 year-old record for strike outs in a season. I have to say, when Davy Lopes, a guy I respected immensely as a player, sat Jose Hernandez a few years ago to spare him from the same record I was sickened. Look, if you're gonna make your living swinging for the fences, you should live with the consequences. Here's to you, Adam.
Friday
Mike Hampton - Hampton was reborn under the tutelage of Rockin' Lou Mazzone and has been pitching well down the stretch, but he took a laser off his ankle the other day and I wonder just how long he's willing to test it.
Kerry Wood - Stud, love 'em. Assuming he's on his game, there's no reason for Chicago not to win this one.
Saturday
John Thomson - His ERA is 1.20 lower than his career mark, as he too has benefited from Mazzone's gift and the Atlanta D.
Carlos Zambrano - On a rotation laced with #1's and #2's, Zambrano has been the best Cubs' starter this season.
Sunday
Paul Byrd - If you throw out the hiccup against the Reds last week, Byrd's only allowed 8 runs in his last 50 innings, dropping his ERA from 4.11 to 3.34.
Greg Maddux - I don't bet against Maddux.
The probables, Atlanta's got nothing to play for, and the fact that they're playing in Chicago, you have to like the Cubbies chances. But then you remember two things: 1) they're the Cubs and 2) Sosa's September numbers: .217/.275/.373, Derek Lee : .225/.331/.382.
San Francisco @ Los Angeles
Friday
Kirk Rueter - Woody spent the better part of the year getting beaten like a rented mule, but seems to have righted his ship in September.
Jeff Weaver - I have an old friend named Jeffrey Weaver, a Yankee fan and a man who can in part be blamed for my association with the UrClown. When the trade for Weaver was made he couldn't decide what upset him more: the loss of Lilly, the acquisition of Weaver or the fact that he was going to have to stress more than ever his preference for being called "Jeffrey." J-Dub's got a pretty beefy ERA for a guy who calls Chavez home. Oh, and he's kind of a douche bag.
Advantage Woody.
Saturday
Brett Tomko - I swear to God I saw Tomko driving a UPS truck through Lower Manhattan last week. This guy has been striving for mediocrity for years now. But he, too, has pitched well this month.
Edwin Jackson - I can't even take this guy seriously. He wreaks of sacrificial lamb. If I were Neel I'd file a class action suit if this guy actually takes the hill.
I don't know what kind of crazy mixed up world we're living in where I find myself typing the words "Advantage Tomko."
A brief aside: Bush is getting his lunch money stolen. Whoopee!
Sunday
Jason Schmidt - I'm not sure what this has to do with the season finale, but in googling Burl Ives to make a joke about Schmidt, I learned that Ives was a Mason. Call it an intangible. He's blossomed into a stud this summer, he will likely be a top-five finisher in the Cy Young balloting, too.
Kaz Ihii - The K/BB ratio is 1.02, the ERA 4.69 for the year, 5.49 for September.
This is a no-brainer.
Unfortunately the Giants' magic number is 7 with four games to play, which means they have to sweep the weekend series and I just don't have enough faith in them to get in done.
Come Tuesday we'll be looking at Los Angeles v St Louis and Houston v Atlanta.
Oh, why not? Houston v St Louis.
Ah, fuck it... Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your National League Champions, the Houston Astros.
Lisa, meet me at Sonny's. You're buying.
Who am I to resist the opportunity to make an ass of myself?
Colorado @ Houston
Friday
Joe Kennedy - Kennedy's pitched well down the stretch. Despite giving up 5 runs in 7 to SF on 9/2, his ERA over his last 7 starts is only 2.51, 3.62 for the year. How he's managed to keep the ERA that low with a WHIP of 1.42 is a mystery, but if it works for Luke Ford, why not Joe Kennedy?
Pete Munro - Interestingly, Houston starter Pete Munro also has a WHIP of 1.42, which he has spun into a beefy 5.20 ERA. Looking at his game log, one is reminded of former Red Sox Dave Stapleton. Stapes came up as a rookie in 1980 and posted some fine numbers, finishing second to Super Joe Charboneau in the rookie of the year balloting. After batting .321 in his inaugural campaign, Stapleton went on to distinguish himself by becoming the only player in MLB history to have his average go down for six years in a row. What the hell am I talking about? Munro recently enjoyed a run of 8 starts in a row in which his ERA went up.
I guess my point is that both these guys kinda stink, but Kennedy's been far luckier. And as I noted yesterday, the Rockies simply cannot hit on the road.
Saturday
Shawn Estes - My friend Joe, who moved here from SF last year, is a world-class music nerd, a baseball fan and a homosexual. He spent more than a little time stalking Estes when he was with the Gi'nts and had him on his fantasy team. I'm afraid the answer is yes: it was a fantasy team in both senses. It was comprised of players he suspected/desperately hoped were gay.
Roy Oswalt - Oswalt will deservedly finish in the top 5 in the Cy Young balloting.
Sunday
Jamey "See-Saw" Wright - His last start, 6 shut out innings against LA, broke a nine-game cycle of success and failure as his runs allowed yo-yo'd: 2 6 2 6 1 4 2 6 1. I'm guessing the kid's gonna return to form.
Carlos Hernandez - All I have to say about Carlos is that Clemens has already said that if this game is do-or-die, he's available to pitch it.
I really see no reason, other than the law of averages, why Houston won't sweep this series. I mean, shit, if they can sweep St Louis, why not Colorado? Having said all that, I remember now that they control their own destiny, so I guess I'd make them the favorites for the wild card.
Atlanta @ Chicago
Before I look at the remaining games let's talk about today's self-immolation. Mark Prior, the only man alive whose legs make my heart flutter, threw 16 K's over 9 innings of 3-hit, 1-run ball... and lost. It may sound dispassionate for me to suggest that this is a team embracing its heritage, but Jeebus... I would also like to give a shout to Adam "Three True Outcomes" Dunn, who fearlessly broke Bobby Bonds' 34 year-old record for strike outs in a season. I have to say, when Davy Lopes, a guy I respected immensely as a player, sat Jose Hernandez a few years ago to spare him from the same record I was sickened. Look, if you're gonna make your living swinging for the fences, you should live with the consequences. Here's to you, Adam.
Friday
Mike Hampton - Hampton was reborn under the tutelage of Rockin' Lou Mazzone and has been pitching well down the stretch, but he took a laser off his ankle the other day and I wonder just how long he's willing to test it.
Kerry Wood - Stud, love 'em. Assuming he's on his game, there's no reason for Chicago not to win this one.
Saturday
John Thomson - His ERA is 1.20 lower than his career mark, as he too has benefited from Mazzone's gift and the Atlanta D.
Carlos Zambrano - On a rotation laced with #1's and #2's, Zambrano has been the best Cubs' starter this season.
Sunday
Paul Byrd - If you throw out the hiccup against the Reds last week, Byrd's only allowed 8 runs in his last 50 innings, dropping his ERA from 4.11 to 3.34.
Greg Maddux - I don't bet against Maddux.
The probables, Atlanta's got nothing to play for, and the fact that they're playing in Chicago, you have to like the Cubbies chances. But then you remember two things: 1) they're the Cubs and 2) Sosa's September numbers: .217/.275/.373, Derek Lee : .225/.331/.382.
San Francisco @ Los Angeles
Friday
Kirk Rueter - Woody spent the better part of the year getting beaten like a rented mule, but seems to have righted his ship in September.
Jeff Weaver - I have an old friend named Jeffrey Weaver, a Yankee fan and a man who can in part be blamed for my association with the UrClown. When the trade for Weaver was made he couldn't decide what upset him more: the loss of Lilly, the acquisition of Weaver or the fact that he was going to have to stress more than ever his preference for being called "Jeffrey." J-Dub's got a pretty beefy ERA for a guy who calls Chavez home. Oh, and he's kind of a douche bag.
Advantage Woody.
Saturday
Brett Tomko - I swear to God I saw Tomko driving a UPS truck through Lower Manhattan last week. This guy has been striving for mediocrity for years now. But he, too, has pitched well this month.
Edwin Jackson - I can't even take this guy seriously. He wreaks of sacrificial lamb. If I were Neel I'd file a class action suit if this guy actually takes the hill.
I don't know what kind of crazy mixed up world we're living in where I find myself typing the words "Advantage Tomko."
A brief aside: Bush is getting his lunch money stolen. Whoopee!
Sunday
Jason Schmidt - I'm not sure what this has to do with the season finale, but in googling Burl Ives to make a joke about Schmidt, I learned that Ives was a Mason. Call it an intangible. He's blossomed into a stud this summer, he will likely be a top-five finisher in the Cy Young balloting, too.
Kaz Ihii - The K/BB ratio is 1.02, the ERA 4.69 for the year, 5.49 for September.
This is a no-brainer.
Unfortunately the Giants' magic number is 7 with four games to play, which means they have to sweep the weekend series and I just don't have enough faith in them to get in done.
Come Tuesday we'll be looking at Los Angeles v St Louis and Houston v Atlanta.
Oh, why not? Houston v St Louis.
Ah, fuck it... Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your National League Champions, the Houston Astros.
Lisa, meet me at Sonny's. You're buying.
1 Comments:
damn, boy, you read my column on munro and i ain't even posted it yet!
what's with all this dodgers $^#%@! GO esseff!!!!! i wanna see BLB Himself get struck out by beefy-ass right here at dome, i mean the juicebox. but i'll tell you what i want, what i really really want - i wanna see Roy-O clinch the pennant with a no-hitter, just like mike scott did in 86. and yes. i WAS at that game, thank you mama.
your friend j-dub ain't the first to play "fantasy" ball - me and a few of my girls been doing it since jeter (sorry - i didn't know you back then) first came up.....
meet you at sonny's? oh no honey, in houston, it's Goode's. for brisket or duck. ribs or chicken? well, they need some flava. if you know what i mean. and i think you do.
lisa
your 2004 World Champion Astros blogger (dare to dream...)
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